Camping rant

I love camping me, and have done it for on and off all my life. A great cheap way to see new and interesting places. I have many fond memories of going camping in my home country Denmark and much of Europe. The great things is that you are pretty much taking your home exploring with you. Which is the point of camping that you can break up camp and move along when you have had enough.

I have done camping with tents, trailer tents, caravans and mobile homes. Though my favourite is camping in a tent as you feel so much more in with nature, not in a tree hugging way. But go out and see nature and new places, isn't that the reason why you go camping?

So therefore over the years I have build up an little rant and need this blog to get it out there, so pull up a chair (you will need it) while I get up on my soap box.

Holiday homes and caravan sites:

The users of these sites, why?

Yes if you have a mobile home I can some what see why you are keeping it at one location, because they are so bloody big. Even though the --- title: does imply that you move it around now and again instead of having it at the same place all year around for the next 30 odd years.

But why the heck do you get a mobile home, which you are not moving around, why not just a summer house, small cottage? They are essentially the same, immobile. And in the same location for the time that you are using it ?

The campsite we stayed at this weekend just gone, was by all means very well kept. But if it wasn't for the wheels on the "houses", this caravan site could easily be your local cul-de-sac in suburban somewhere *). With the local pub and corner shop at the top of the road, with the little annoying yapping dog outside number 38.

Isn't camping going out there enjoying the countryside away from the noise, the hussle and bussle at the place you call home?

We got woken up by the same noises that we have on our estate. Nah, I tell a lie, our estate in central London is quieter than this village, erm, campsite. Cars coming and going at odd hours, car alarms going off, people talking loudly on their way home from the pub.

Caravans:

A few years ago while I was working on a campsite, I saw an English man parking up his caravan. From years of parking a caravan myself with my mum and dad, I knew that he had parked it wrong. And was in for some trouble to get in a good location on his pitch. So I wandered down to the pitch one to say welcome to the site and two give him a hand as this wife didn't look like a lady that would have been happy to do a bit of extra caravan pushing.

I commented on his parking and he said not to worry and pulled out the remote control and drew the caravan into position while the wife was decking up for dinner. He told me that the next model up would have its own way of leveling out so you didn't have to run aroud with your wrench and level.

The fun part was that he didn't have to do the shouting "to the left, no my left!" and the heavy pushing. And it kept the divorce at bay. Yeah I remember the hassle it was to park a small caravan on a steep slope in Austria, when I was a wee nipper. I can laugh at it now, but at the time me folks needed a drink or two before they could speak to each other after that affair.

I'm sorry that is NOT camping. That is more like a B&B or hotel holiday. As the caravans also have televisions, SKY I'm sure is getting beamed in. Like the ones I saw this weekend, 20+ inches !!!

And some of them were even as big as a mobile home. So why the heck not get a mobile home in the first place? And don't come with the excuse that of we can just pull up the tent pegs and go somewhere else. Nah, I'm not buying that when I see your flower bed around your front porch.

Oh yeah, and before you start to cook in a caravan do open the windows, though I'm sure that some might have an extractor by the look of the size of them. But you did make me laugh out loud when I heard the firealarm go off and your were holding your pan with your burning sausages out through the gap in the door of your caravan.

People at Campsites:

Generally people who goes camping are just brilliant, nice and friendly. But there are some people, no matter how keen they might be, who will never be cut out for camping.

-Noise : please do keep your voice, music down as people are sleeping in tents and do not have two feet of insulation between you and them.

And please don't starting shouting after your dog, kid etc at 6am as they whole campsite will hear you.

-Drivers **) : The campsite is not a race track, kids are at play and people are there to relax and enjoy their stay. Please don't start faffing around with your car at 11:30pm or later as your car alarm will go off and we all will get to hear it. One of the reasons why we go camping is to get away from that.

-Cleaning : even if the site is fully serviced with bar, shop and night porter, please do clean up after yourselves. The reason why most of us go camping is to see nature, not a landfill. Remember these two little rules - leave it as you find it, what you bring with you in, you take out with you. Your mum ain't here.

Not really part of the rant, but there is a bit of lack of logic and experience of the outdoors, where I'm sure we all have been once. But today I saw a couple on their, by the look of it all, first camping trip taking their tent down. They had moved everything outsite before they have even packed it up, knowing the outdoors - it will rain soon and all your stuff will get wet. They started to take their new tent down in a haphazard way, knowing the outdoors - the wind will pick up any time soon and your tent will be gone. And then the rain I talked about earlier will start and where would you put your gear then ? Oh yes, they will learn as we all did.

*) and **) Why would you in your right mind go on holiday on a caravan or mobile home site. As the traffic is just the same, was't the plan to get away from it ?

Oh well time have a rest, you got a good deal out my two cents, but I'm sure that there will be more to come given the camping I get to do!